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"Am I crazy to the think / We could go back to the start? / 
When we're half convinced / That I'll just re-break your heart / 'Cause I lit the fuse..."


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It's painful to be hurt.

It's also painful to be the one doing the hurting.

We don't talk about that second thing as much, but the process of grief that it sets in motion is ultimately the same: Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance. 

That's what they say are the "five stages of grief."

It's a good list. But the idea that such a world-shattering process could ever be neatly labeled or easily digested really does a disservice to communicating what a mess the actual process is. Stages of grief cycle back and repeat, or a bunch can occur all at once, or in the span of minutes over a heavy conversation. It's a frantic world of emotional rock bottom.

The ability to cling to hope unravels, and the desperation is tangible as a new reality sets in...

The loss is happening.
It cannot be stopped.
It cannot be held back.

Time will not reverse.
Not even just this once.
Time doesn't care. 


"...To no one's surprise / The words all turned out to be true /
So 'til death do us part / I'll have to bear witness to / To losing you."

OUR NINTH EPISODE DANCES WITH THE THEMES AND IDEAS OF 'I WILL' – THE NINTH TRACK ON DEREK WEBB'S NEW ALBUM, 'FINGERS CROSSED.' 

THE SONG ITSELF ALSO PROVIDES THE ENTIRE MUSICAL AND SONIC BACKDROP TO ANY PHONE CALLS AND CORRESPONDENCE WE ARE FEATURING THIS WEEK.


ABOUT SEASON ONE: 

Derek Webb has described his new album, Fingers Crossed, as 'a tale of two divorces.' Our first season of The Airing of Grief Podcast dives into the album track-by-track, with each song providing the themes and musical backdrop for an accompanying episode. Whether you're new to Derek's music or a longtime fan, the topics discussed and the stories of our guests should prove themselves to be a compelling journey for any listener. Wherever you might find yourself on issues of faith or spirituality, there is room at the table for all of these voices to be heard and celebrated. Raw, real, and authentic, The Airing of Grief strives to be a safe place to strip away the pretense and really listen to the heart. 

We're a small team with big dreams: please consider becoming a patron to help us continue.

Ep 10: Dodged A Bullet

Ep 08: The Braver One