"If I cannot be the one to hold you in my arms /
I will find a way to love you as we are..."
A good friend once said, "To stay in touch with the essence while shedding the dogma has been the greatest challenge my spiritual muscles have ever faced."
Deconstruction is exhilarating, isn't it? It's often such a fascinating and encompassing process that we don't realize how much we've actually lost until we take a break. Ultimately, it's not the shedding of things which is overwhelming. It's the moment immediately after, when we recognize fully what we've done. That's when the anxiety really sets in.
The words of a friend echo again: "To stay in touch with the essence while shedding the dogma has been the greatest challenge my spiritual muscles have ever faced." It's incredibly difficult to hold on to the good stuff while purging ourselves of the bad, and it's often so much easier to just burn everything to the ground, assuming nothing of our past has anything to offer us now...
But that isn't true. Though leaving everything might be enticing, there is worth to what we have experienced.
It's just a question of how we engage it.
"God doesn't get to keep everything in the divorce."
For those who find themselves within the mess of the same divorce, those are important words. Whatever goodness you have known... whatever peace or comfort or joy... whatever lessons you've learned of compassion or love or justice (which is what love looks like when it goes out in public)... Those things still belong to you. It can feel like they don't – like it's wrong to hold on to them – but that feeling is not reality. Those things not only still belong to you, they can still shape who you are and who you desire to be. Ground zero doesn't have to be ground zero for long. So as you begin to rebuild and grasp at new things, you might just find some of those old things still have a place as well. Whatever you've learned to cherish from within one worldview can still be useful and meaningful to you outside of it.
Maybe you still have some faith, so it's easy to attach all the things you value to that target.
But even if you no longer find yourself in the place of faith, your values are still your own.
Goodness is good – whether we believe someone is watching us or not.
If you think about it, virtue can be even more significant when it's detached from religious order or lawful observance. Goodness is truly remarkable when the person displaying it doesn't believe it factors into any sort of endgame or grand scheme. When people just live and move in goodness because it's good, and that's enough for them, that's actually pretty damn beautiful.
Because, if nothing we do matters, then really all that matters is what we do.
"...I am redeeming this guitar / Though I will always bear the scar /
Of who you are to me and who I wish to be... for you."
OUR ELEVENTH EPISODE DANCES WITH THE THEMES AND IDEAS OF 'I AM REDEEMING THIS GUITAR' – THE ELEVENTH TRACK ON DEREK WEBB'S NEW ALBUM, 'FINGERS CROSSED.'
THE SONG ITSELF ALSO PROVIDES THE ENTIRE MUSICAL AND SONIC BACKDROP TO ANY PHONE CALLS AND CORRESPONDENCE WE ARE FEATURING THIS WEEK.
ABOUT SEASON ONE:
Derek Webb has described his new album, Fingers Crossed, as 'a tale of two divorces.' Our first season of The Airing of Grief Podcast dives into the album track-by-track, with each song providing the themes and musical backdrop for an accompanying episode. Whether you're new to Derek's music or a longtime fan, the topics discussed and the stories of our guests should prove themselves to be a compelling journey for any listener. Wherever you might find yourself on issues of faith or spirituality, there is room at the table for all of these voices to be heard and celebrated. Raw, real, and authentic, The Airing of Grief strives to be a safe place to strip away the pretense and really listen to the heart.
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